Be Your Biggest Fan

When favorable feedback is slow in coming, it is natural to believe the delay is due to a bad review. So the urge to say what we believe others might be thinking prompts us to give utterance to imagined unfavorable speculation. Be careful not to degrade yourself so long you begin to believe your own bad review in an attempt to prove you are not conceited. Confidence and conceit have distinct character traits.

Conceited people will promote themselves and perceive others as peasants. Though some are facetious with this notion, there are people who are serious about invalidating others. This helps them deal with the inevitable fact someone else may show better.

Confidant people will promote others and include themselves in the mix. This helps them keep their edge when the cheering section is out on break. There is no law against having faith in yourself to succeed when the odds (and people) are against you.

If you are what you eat, does it not make sense you are affected by what you eat whether good or bad? That being the case, if you are what you think, does it not make sense you are affected by what you think whether good or bad? Nobody can eat for you. The right foods can be suggested. You have to do the work and eat. Nobody can think for you; though, they may try. The right thoughts can be suggested. You have to do the work and evolve. Yes. Evolve.

The key is patience with your building process. As you pursue your passion, hold private pep rallies. Cheer yourself on after the crowd is gone.

The Kingdom of You

Look. You know the buzz. Believe in yourself. Make time for yourself. Think well of yourself. Have you done these things? To rule well in your sphere, start at the center. You are here.

It is vital to establish and maintain your kingdom. Yes. You must think of yourself as regal. The wordsmith in you may work with queendom, but it is not necessary when you are sure of your position and authority in your life.

Temper your confidence with humility. Certain others will challenge your position, but remember you are royalty. Poise and diplomacy highlight your essence. You were made to be adored and respected. Graciousness inspires you to first respect those in your kingdom.

No doubt. Thinking of yourself as royalty might be far-fetched as you take focus off yourself and scan your surroundings, but your kindgdom is the realm where you are dominant.

At any time you decide to broaden the boundaries of your kingdom, appoint advisors and consult with them. Yes. You control who gains access to the inner court of your kingdom. Rule well.

Nice is Not Popular But it is Best

A young woman may get accused of being stuck up because she chooses not to get involved with a young man who lets her know he is interested in learning more about her.

Usually, the phrase stuck up has also been applied to a person of privilege who shuns or “looks down his or her nose” at a person who is not as privileged to live a financially comfortable life.

Many young women try to prove they are not stuck up and find themselves in life-changing situations; but, all is not lost. Take advantage of this chance to live by your original standard.

Do not ignore red flags this time. If he says you are playing hard to get, treat it like a red flag. Why? He does not take you seriously enough to respect your choice to live with virtue.

The choices you make are an extension of you. If he does not respect your choice, he does not respect you. Sure, he will tell you he admires your strength while at the same time plotting to weaken you to surrender.

It is best to trust you will have better choices by the time you complete your education and get established financially first. Otherwise, it may take you longer to get back on track to finish college as a non-traditional student.

Sure, it is better late than never, but if you can avoid being late at all, by all means and for your sake, concentrate on school now.

Respect: A Natural Beauty Enhancer

As little girls we were dressed pretty in pink with lace ribbons in our hair. Our mothers told us how beautiful we looked while we gazed in the mirror. Our dads claimed our looks came from his side of the family. We blushed, smiled and believed we were beautiful.

Building upon this foundation of confidence, we learn of beauty regimens for our face: cleanse, exfoliate, moisturize. We take better care of our bodies making better food choices, eating less, exercising more. Hairstyles are more daring and sophisticated. Our feet receive as much attention as our hands with smooth polished nails in a showcase of artistic designs.

When nature announced our womanhood, there was no shortage of advice on what was ladylike. After being taught to honor mother and father, we were taught to honor elder women as mothers and to honor younger women as sisters.

Both relationships place these women in position of mentor. Old school advice is as dependable as time; however you have to regard the advice in order for it to work for you.

In this day, young adult women are advised to complete their education, get a job, and get married before having children so their financial future is more secure.

At this rate, a woman may not have children until her late twenties or early thirties. This is a good age because, hopefully by then, a great deal of wisdom is acquired to be passed on to the children.

The excitement of becoming old enough to experience new emotions may cause rebellion against the sound advice of elder and younger women.

Ever see a well-groomed impeccably-dressed sister, accessorized, wafting the latest fragrance sporting disrespect for elder women? Bring out your natural beauty and grace even more by draping yourself with respect.

__________________________

Clark, Le’Ondra Clark. Interview: Joseph L. White. The Association of Black Psychologists.

Divine Mentoring: I Timothy 5:1, 2 KJV

KidsHealth by Nemour. Parents. When Your Teen Is Having a Baby.

Who Is Defining You?

Independence is a desired state of existence. Financial stability and freedom from dependence on others is quite an accomplishment. It is said some men are at a loss on how to treat a woman who has her own home, car, and all amenities feminine. This intimidation may stem from women’s liberation and feminist views.  In many cases, a woman wants to be identified in language.

When speaking of mankind, the word womankind must be inserted in the text to be politically correct and not be accused of sexism.

Honestly, whenever I hear a woman make verbal adjustments to plug in our pronoun, I wonder if she knows the history behind what appears to be a power play with a man.

Do you cosign on the point of view expressed by society a woman should vie for position of authority against a man? These subtle waves of division may force a man and a woman to drift apart.

It is fair for a woman to get equal pay for doing the same job as a truck driver and construction worker, but is truck driving and construction work all the woman could find or all she had a passion to do?

Were these jobs only sought to validate an opinion? I find myself defending my stand for chivalry and all the pleasantries of being treated like a lady.

__________________

Bergoffen, Debra, “Simone de Beauvoir”, The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Fall 2010 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.) 

Saad, Gad. The Acronym for Benevolent Sexism is BS: The Linguistic Irony is Delicious. Psychology Today. 07 JAN 2009. 

Simpson, Bonnie. Whose Definition Are You? Pulse.Yahoo.26 MAR 2006

What’s in Your Me Time?

You start your day with your mind set on making breakfast, getting the kids up in time to eat and get ready for school, getting yourself ready for work, running to catch the bus or train to be on time for work.

While riding to work, you think over the morning events and decide you will see how many vacation days you have left and if the project on which you are currently working is at a point to be set aside for a week. You want to schedule some me time. What is true me time?

If one week of vacation is what you need to rejuvenate your mind, what will you do when leave time is exhausted? Can you continue at the pace which got you to thinking about me time in the first place?

Are you worth the sacrifice of starting your day one hour early or maybe one hour and a half early to ease into your daily living schedule?

True me time involves engaging your mind to sustain elevation above mental weights too heavy to carry along with your daily responsibilities.  Use your me time to strengthen your mind and your body will feel the power.

Diva is My State of Mind

 

What matters most is what you believe about yourself. It is human nature to seek approval from other people. Jealous people will not approve you; if they do, there is a “but” at the end. You are anxious to hear how you rank.

Do you really think a person who cares little for you will give a favorable ranking? If people do not say what you need to hear to keep your edge, will you stop trying to succeed?

Your job may not be prestigious, but you have a job. You may have to coordinate and replay outfits until your money gets right, but you have clothes to wear. I have a vehicle that says everything opposite of the diva I am, but I have transportation.

The strength of my strut is not in my fashion; compared to other women, I look homeless. The strength of my strut is not in my fine home; I have no place to call my own. The strength of my strut is not in my money; or else, I would go somewhere, sit down, and be quiet. The strength of my strut comes from the love I have for myself, and the respect I have for other people.

Beaucoup Drama

You endeavor to be the epitome of dynamo. You feed your mind with the latest updates on how to do whatever it is you aspire to do. One reason you spend time and energy on your dream is to make real the lifestyle you see in your vision of success.

No more living from paycheck to paycheck. No more sitting in the unemployment office waiting to find out why benefits were not received. No more lack. Everything is in order and flowing in your vision.  You have beaucoup money…beaucoup time…beaucoup creature comforts to get as close to living heaven on earth as possible.

You drive along Abundant Life Avenue able to give to those living on Working Poor Boulevard as you make the route to Beaucoup Estates; and then, you look at where you are now. Would allowing someone in your life in its present condition help you or hinder you? Will it be a waste of time to get involved with someone only to have him or her walk away because he or she is intimidated by events in your life? Or will the lesson learned be reward enough for you?

Be Your Best Self

You read how to make your man happy…how to make your friends happy…and how to make your dog happy. Now you are waiting to be happy. You say the word “no” while nodding your head “yes” because you do not want to offend anyone. Do you realize in order to be a strength to other people you must strengthen yourself…first? Do not take the guilt trip. Unpack your emotional baggage. You are not being cruel by taking time to rejuvenate your essence.

Turn off the television…turn off the radio…turn off the cell phone.  Turn off your thoughts about anything outside of you.  Put the cell phone down. Get a sheet of paper. Do not type. Write. Longhand write with an ink pen or a crayon if you want to get your inner child in on this venture. Write down the steps you must take. Make this your season to grow and be your best self.